Your experiences are what form who you are and how you live.  You can USE those experiences as the key to creating your success.

There are positive experiences in life and there are less positive ones. When you consider your life’s experience, it can have a profound effect on your present experience and those of your future. You can create better decisions based on what you’ve learned and what you want to achieve.

Success is a Habit

Your emotions also impact on your decisions.  For example, can you think of any past decision you’ve made and regretted?  Most of us could if we chose to.  Well, now I’m suggesting that you choose NOT to.  Instead, look back at past decisions and choose to take some lessons from them.  Choose to look at those decisions through a different pair of spectacles as it were; to hear the inner voices through a different headset.

You see, as long as you can live with your incorrect decisions in life, you can always learn from your own mistakes or negative experiences.  When you do this, you engage in a positive and useful process because changing the way in which you look at your experiences or decisions means that you are learning from them in a positive way and that leads to positive and useful change.  In this way, you activate the means of goal setting to achieve success rather than freezing yourself in place like a rabbit in the headlights of progress.

The next move is the simplest step to achieving your goals. First, you take action and you set yourself a date for the success to turn into reality – you imprint it in your mind’s own calendar for success.

Then, if necessary, you seek the help of others in order that you accelerate your achievement.  Build positive resources around you in terms of the people who will support, nurture and aid your progress towards your goal. Connect and interact with people who bring you the energy and support that you require and deserve.

Most importantly, just make sure you begin taking action, whether it’s your own personal steps or asking for assistance. The only thing holding you back from taking the steps to success is, in fact, fear so if you set your goal, put time frames into place and enlist the support of others, you are well on the way to achieving your outcome.

So now, the past becomes a positive experience and a classroom for the future.  NOW you have the opportunity, with help if necessary, to go back and relive any part of your life you’d like to change permanently by simply changing your perspective; by learning rather than regretting.

This knowledge and ability can give you the strength to create a new reality.  All you have to do is believe in your goal and take action. It’s acceptable that it will not happen overnight, but you will find the process of achieving success becomes easier once you get moving.

And why stop at one goal?  Once you are well on your way to achieving that goal, and have developed the habit of taking action, then consider the next goal and the next.  Use your momentum to keep you moving forward, to create the habit of success.
While you’re in the process, add the habit of continuously evaluating yourself and fine tuning you in order to be better.

Last but not least, we all have aspects in our lives that we would like to change and it’s often all too easy to put off making that change.  Remember, nothing is preventing you from making positive changes today, to achieve success in your life. Nothing, that is, except YOU.

What goal will YOU set for yourself today and WHEN will you enjoy the success you deserve?

To find out more about how the Ralph Watson Partnership can help you make positive and lasting changes in your life, visit our Learning NLP page

I’m sure many of you will know that sight and, perhaps, that feeling.  I know I have in the past.

So, how can we, as successful business people, avoid that sinking sensation at 8am?  Simple – Clear the Decks.  Try this for a strategy:

Have a black bag day

Take a day out from the usual routine and grab a large black bin liner – or several.  Work your way through the office or work space and bin everything that you don’t need now or won’t need in the future.  You know, all those old circulation notes that aren’t good for anything other than gathering dust, the memos that have been actioned, the junk mail and magazines, the pens that ran out of ink years ago, the broken pencil sharpener, the funny post card from last year’s holiday.  Every piece of paper that is no longer of any use.  get rid of it all.

Take a day out from the usual routine and grab a large black bin liner – or several.  Work your way through the office or work space and bin everything that you don’t need now or won’t need in the future.  You know, all those old circulation notes that aren’t good for anything other than gathering dust, the memos that have been actioned, the junk mail and magazines, the pens that ran out of ink years ago, the broken pencil sharpener, the funny post card from last year’s holiday.  Every piece of paper that is no longer of any use.  get rid of it all.

Whilst you’re doing this, notice how it feels as you begin to snatch back YOUR space and clear your decks.

Some people tell me they don’t have time to do this.  My response is simple – you can’t afford NOT to!

Handling paper

There is a simple way of handling any piece of paper that passes across your desk:

1. Do it – which means either deal with it right now or put it into your bring forward file
2. Delegate it – if somebody else can do this, then let them
3. Dump it – if its junk, put it straight into the bin

Bring forward files

There are a number of ways in which you can create an effective bring forward file.  The one that I use is this:

1. I have a large 4-ring lever-arch binder
2. One divider for each month
3. One set at the beginning marked “This Month” which is also divided into dates (1 to 31)
4. Each piece of paper goes into the appropriate month
5. At the beginning of each month I bring those forward into “This Month” and place them in the correct date slot
6. If I don’t have a specific date, I allocate one and stick to it

So, your black bag day will help you clear the decks to begin with, the paper handling strategy will keep the clutter to a minimum and the bring forward file will help you organise tasks and papers in their place and time.

Clean beginnings and clear endings

Always aim to leave your desk empty at the end of the day.  Clear away everything and make sure you’ve observed all of the above.  That will then leave you with a clear desk to arrive to the next morning and remnove that sinking feeling that we all know so well.

Clear your decks and see the difference it makes

Then came a time when we were told, “be proactive, get out there, create opportunities.”  Practically every successful sales person I met in the 1980s was highly proactive.     Again, all well and good at one level.

But I’d like to suggest a different way of thinking.  Some of my readers will already be aware of this and some may even practice it.  My philosophy is to become Interdependent and Interactive.

Interdependent means that we no longer consider ourselves as little islands, our organisation or our department as a smoke stack taking care of its own smoke.  Instead, we begin to cultivate relationships based upon mutual support, mutual trust, mutual respect and understanding. This means that the customer becomes a part of the team as does the supplier; neither any longer treated as a necessary evil or a separate team on the field.  Develop policies and strategies based on helping one another to succeed against combined and separate outcomes.  When a customer or a supplier has a problem, help them to resolve it and they, in turn, will be better disposed to do the same for you.  Create synergies right across the spectrum.

Similarly, becoming Interactive means to become aware of not only our own situation, needs and vision but to interact with our “environment” in such a way that we are better placed to operate flexibility when it is needed.  Reactive organisations are good at solving the problem when it happens – sometimes “when it happens” is just that little bit too late.  Proactive organisations create opportunities, which is great and, again, they sometimes are so busy creating the opportunities that they don’t spot the sign until they are IN the minefield.

Interactive organisations operate in an environment where they are monitoring everything that goes on around them; in their market, in markets that may impact on theirs; even in the communities where they operate.  Thus, they see the minefield long before they find themselves in it.

Learn to become interdependant and interactive – a great key to success.

You’ll probably find lots of theories on how to manage meetings if you surf long enough – and waste even more time – and I’m going to share a few simple ways to make sure that meetings are effective.

1 – Plan in advance. I accept that there are times when an “urgent” meeting is necessary.  However, my experience is that they all become urgent if there’s no planning.  Get it in the diary well in advance

2 – Always have an agenda. A meeting without an agenda is just a coffee break so issue a request for agenda items when you announce the meeting.  Give a deadline to have them in and then stick to it.  Anything late doesn’t go in the agenda

3 – Plan the timing carefully and stick to that plan so that attendees know when it will start and when it will finish.  And never put approximate start or finish times

4 – Time the meeting so that it will end at lunchtime.  Very few people will want to run over of their lunch is under threat

5 – Never have an AOB slot on the agenda.  This will just be used by those who don’t bother to get agenda items in on time.  Dump AOB and you’ll sharpen everybody’s act

6 – Ensure that the meeting Chair does an effective job.  This may require some subtle assistance but it will pay off if the meeting sticks to the agenda and runs to time

7 – Get a nominated scribe to take notes and ensure that the notes are distributed immediately after the meeting, showing clearly the action points, who has ownership of them and any timescales for their completion

8 – When notes are being taken, have them read back to ensure no distortion takes place.  This will avoid time wasted in disagreements later

9 – If any attempt is made to bring up a matter not on the agenda, politely and firmly get it put aside for the agenda on the next meeting – or set as the sole matter for a special meeting if that’s appropriate

10 – When the meeting notes are distributed, avoid allowing participants to “vet” them.  They will have been read out at the meeting and so should be clear

Others may give you their own opinion of what makes a good meeting.  This is my perspective based on 35 years of attending great meetings, poor meetings and coffee breaks.

It makes sense.

I make no claim to this article as my own.  That accolade goes to Scott Campbell.  However, when I discovered it, I was struck by the concept of using endless optimism as a Leadership tool when, so much of the time, that same optimism and constant positive attitude tend to be condemned.

So, I’ll leave you to read Scott’s excellent article.  Oh, and Scott – no infringement on copyright is intended here.

You can find more on Leadership by bookmarking the site and returning regularly.

Leading on the Edge of Chaos

By Scott Campbell

Optimism is true moral courage. Determining to be hopeful and positive in the face of daunting circumstances is a gutsy choice that effective leaders make again and again. It’s easy to give in to negativity and pessimism when leading on the edge of chaos. Yet, resisting the tendency to give in to despair, discouragement and defeat when confronting tremendous hardship or disappointment is a key factor in being a leader people will follow – even on the edge of chaos. Our world, now more than ever, needs these kinds of leaders – in our businesses, in our families, and in our communities. In these days when we so often feel like we are living on the edge of chaos, people want and need beacons of hope, bastions of optimism. Such is our challenge and opportunity. Leading on the edge of chaos requires the moral courage that optimism demands.  Shackleton Ernest

On October 27, 1915 Ernest Shackleton gave the order to his crew of 27 men to abandon ship. The goal of his expedition—to be the first team to cross the Antarctic continent from sea to sea—had long since been abandoned, replaced by the determination to return all his men back home to England alive. Shackleton and the crew of the Endurance had already endured 281 days of entrapment in an ice floe, including 70 days of pitch-black darkness—the long Antarctic winter night. Now, their ship had been crushed beyond repair, forcing them to abandon its shelter and relative comfort. This small band was left hundreds of miles from the nearest community, with no means of communication, with no one knowing their whereabouts, and with very little material resources.

Three lifeboats, camping-gear, dog sled teams and several months’ worth of food rations were all the supplies they were able to salvage from the Endurance. Attempts to drag the lifeboats across the ice to open water quickly failed, forcing them to set up camp and wait for warmer weather to break up the ice sufficiently for them to set sail for the whaling station on South Georgia Island. On November 17th, they watched in dismay as the ship Endurance sank beneath the ice. During the six months of encampment on the ice floe that followed, Shackleton worked relentlessly to keep his men hopeful, focused, positive and cooperative. Ice floe soccer games, Saturday evening sing-a-longs, a clear and regular daily regimen for all and regular personal time with each of his men were some of the methods he used to accomplish this.

By April 9, 1916 the ice had disintegrated to the point where they could launch the lifeboats. So began an attempt to sail to a whaling station on South Georgia Island, the nearest inhabited place. Gale force winds, however, drove them westward instead of east, forcing them to land on the deserted and desolate Elephant Island some 800 miles from South Georgia Island.

Undaunted, Shackleton and a crew of 9 took the largest lifeboat in a second attempt to reach South Georgia. After 3 weeks at sea, encountering colossal waves that threatened to overwhelm them, sleeping in freezing, wet sleeping bags, and struggling at times against near hurricane strength winds, they managed to land on South Georgia Island – only on the wrong side of the island. Unable to row the boat around the southern tip of the Island due to the relentless strengths of the wind, Shackleton and two of his crew decided to climb over the mountains and glaciers and walk 17 miles to the whaling station – something never before accomplished.

Two days later, after experiencing bitter cold days, sleepless nights and a descent of more than 900 feet in less than three minutes by sliding, like children, on their coiled ropes and hoping for a safe landing, Shackleton and his two crewmen straggled in to the whaling station. So haggard and dishevelled did they look at this stage that when two small boys playing outside saw them approaching, they ran screaming into the whaling station absolutely terrified. Without taking any rest, Shackleton led a rescue party to pick up his men on the other side of the island. As soon as possible, Shackleton took a ship to rescue his remaining crew on Elephant Island. As he approached the island, Shackleton demonstrated his profound concern for the men under his leadership by yelling, “Are you all well?” On hearing the reply, “All safe, all well,” he responded, “Thank God.”

Shackleton may have failed in his initial objective—to traverse the Antarctic—but he succeeded famously in his greater goal – the safe return of all 27 of his crewmen.

Knowing now a small piece of this incredible journey allows us to appreciate better these words from Sir Ernest Shackleton’s diary:

“Optimism is true moral courage.”

People will follow leaders who demonstrate it. Eight years later, when Shackleton mounted another expedition to the South Pole, in spite of all the dangers and difficulties they previously experienced, eight of the crew members from the Endurance expedition signed up to do it all over again. One of the recurring themes in the surviving diaries kept by several men during the Endurance expedition was the remarkable constancy of Shackleton’s positive outlook and the courage and strength which his men drew from it. These men wanted to follow Shackleton because he lived the words, “Optimism is true moral courage.” And our people will follow us – to the edge of chaos if necessary – if we demonstrate the same.

Some of us who find ourselves in positions of leadership are fortunate that we are by nature optimistic. We may have blips of negativity, moments of discouragement and despair, but we tend to rebound fairly quickly. But for many of us, optimism does not come naturally. We are more prone to negative, pessimistic outlooks and responses. The good news is that optimism can be learned. Here are two suggestions from Dr. Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism.

First, identify your specific pessimistic beliefs. Negative beliefs are often rooted in learned helplessness and as such, can be unlearned. But often they go entirely unnoticed in our minds, consequently, disempowering and defeating us without any opposition. So the first step in overcoming pessimism is to become consciously aware of the specific beliefs and assumptions causing it.

Second, dispute with yourself the validity of these beliefs. You can do this in several ways. You can examine the factual evidence for a negative interpretation you have made or conclusion you have reached. It may be that your conclusion is based more on assumptions or mistaken information rather than what actually happened. Additionally, you can re-assess the expected consequences of the facts involved so you don’t catastrophize them, blowing them out of proportion and discouraging yourself in the process. Finally, even if your facts and interpretation of their consequences lead to a negative conclusion you can reconsider the usefulness of dwelling on them. While your thoughts may be technically accurate, they may in the long run be self-defeating, such as a bomb demolition expert dwelling on the fact that the bomb could go off and kill him/her. Such beliefs, while true, may cause the individual to shake and shiver, thus increasing the likelihood that the bomb will blow up!

However we do it, do it we must. We must learn to be optimistic when leading at the edge of chaos. Our people need us to. And when we do, they will follow us to the edge of chaos and through the chaos to the calm, order and triumph on the other side. And then, like Sir Ernest’s men, they will sign up freely to do it all over again, just for the chance to be serving with us, and following our leadership—even when it takes them to the edge of chaos.

©2009 Scott Campbell

For more on Sir Ernest Shackleton just click here

When given  a task to complete in the workplace, most people look at the task from the perspective of “this is the brief I’ve been given so I had better get on with it.”  How would it be, though, if we adopted an education strategy and made our task far easier for ourselves – and for others?

It goes like this.  Instead of waiting for the task to come down, become proactive and educate those responsible in HOW to brief on the task, how to communicate it and how to delegate it.  In other words, Educate UP.

Show them how you would like to receive the task brief, what information you would like to have and how you would like to receive it; the level of detail, scope of brief etc.

Of course, they will need to grasp what’s in it for them so give them their reasons for doing it your way – and that’s down to you understanding the people but could include better results, faster completion, greater kudos etc.

Now look at the chain further along from you – who needs to be involved, to implement, to carry forward?  Again, become proactive and, this time, Educate DOWN.

Show them how you want it to be carried forward, how you want to measure progress, how you want information fed back and how you will give feedback.  Again, you will need to demonstrate what’s in it for them and you can do this by considering the personalities, work styles and motivators of the individuals.

So, by Educating UP and Educating DOWN, you can make your own task much simpler to complete and more rewarding in doing so.

If you like this Tip for Success and would like to receive more, subscribe to my Newsletter

So, how to END an argument – or, better still, not to get into one?

There are two ways to do this:

Getting OUT of an argument

The first thing to keep in mind is that, when we get into an argument, there is a lot of emotion running and a lot of internal disturbance, mostly because we become totally focused on SELF:

“I’m angry and its your fault”

“I’m right and you are wrong”

“I’m going to win because you’re not gonna beat me”

As Albert Einstein once said, “It is impossible to solve a problem from the state of consciousness in which the problem exists.” So, we need first of all to change the state of consciousness in which we find ourselves when the argument begins – or threatens to begin.

My observation is that most anger is simply a mask placed over another, deeper emotion – usually fear.  Many people react to fear by becoming angry.  It helps them to cope through an adrenalin rush, through charging at the barricade.

So, the fastest way to defuse an argument is to communicate that fear.  Tell the other party what is really going on with you and take the conversation from confrontation to a whole deeper level.  Of course, this also presupposes a level of desire to end the argument in the first place and that’s about choice on both sides.

Avoiding getting INTO an argument

Life is about making choices and so is getting into conflict.  If we get into an argument, its because, at some level, we have made a choice to do so.  That choice may have been an unconscious one and born out of our own life experiences and programmed emotional responses.  However, it is still a choice and creating new choices brings wider perspective and greater freedom.  So, the best way to avoid an argument is to simply not get into it.  Say, “I’m not going to get into a fight over this because neither of us will win so how about we take a minute to think and then talk things over from both perspectives?”  This also gives the other party an opportunity to make a choice and can defuse the situation very quickly.  And, again, its about choice and I acknowledge that, sometimes, the other part may just want to fight.  That’s about their stuff and their choice.  YOUR choice is yours to make in that event – stay and slug it out or “take a breather” as I call it.

So, the next time you find yourself being drawn by that magnet of emotion and heading towards an argument, take a second to recall these few words and then exercise some choice.

In my NLP programmes we cover emotional responses, relationships and conflict.  For more information, please feel free to check out my programmes and to subscribe to my Newsletter

For ten years I’ve listened to NLP Trainers talk about “No-frills NLP training”.  I’ve seen training offered in cold, draughty low-budget hotels, village halls and Trainer’s houses with insufficient space and inappropriate interruptions.  I’ve witnessed low-quality photocopied notes stapled together at the corners, lack of any audio-visual support and days cut short without notice because the venue was suddenly wanted for another function in the evening.  I’ve seen and heard of this being done in the name of keeping the luxuries down in order to make the NLP “affordable”.  What I’ve also seen, behind all of that is that the profit margin is still high and the no-frills approach is not about passing on savings to the participant; its about keeping the costs down and the profit up for the provider.

So, what have I done that’s different?

Well, for a start, I’ve dumped the “no frills” thing and I’m focusing on high quality and high value:

1. The good quality venue is still there – I’ll be using hotels of at least 3-Star quality
2. The high quality course materials and hand outs are still there – in colour and in professional-looking binders
3. Individual feedback and at least one private session for every participant is still there (many Trainers will charge up to £200 for this)
4. Lunch is still there every day – no heading for the local sandwich bar in the pouring rain
5. Refreshments are still there – you won’t need change for that awful vending machine or to wash your cups ready for the next break
6. The same high quality learning experience is there – I never compromise on that

What’s not there?

1. The attitude of, “what do they want for that price?” is not there
2. The dark and fuzzy photocopied notes are not there
3. The corner-cutting to reduce the costs is not there
4. The low-budget venue with poor facilities is not there
5. The high margins to cover those massive marketing machines are not there

In a nutshell?  I’ve just slashed the profit margin and I’m passing that on to the participant because I want to show that it CAN be done this way.  I can only do it once because my own schedule is very busy with work elsewhere in the world but this programme of courses is running at less than half the usual price.

No-frills NLP?  No thank you!

If you’re thinking of joining an NLP programme this year then please take a look at our Summer and Autumn Practitioner programmes – they will only happen this once.

NLP and Leadership

NLP and Sales

NLP and Negotiating

NLP and Human Resources

If you have been following this series then by now you have probably, like me, come to realise the great many benefits that an understanding of NLP can bring to every area of business.  Human Resources is no exception and here you will find some of the major tools that participants from the world of HR on my NLP programmes take away.

Communication

A key area of responsibility for HR professionals is the dissemination of information, often sensitive and confidential.  One of the first skills developed on the journey of NLP is that of skilful and elegant communication.  By studying specific language patterns, such as the Milton Model and Meta Model, one is able to craft documents, letters, e-mails, presentations etc in such a way as to ensure clarity and understanding whilst also, where desired, influencing the mindset of the recipient.

Planning

About six months ago, I spent a day with a client organisation, exploring different areas of the business and much of my day was spent in the company of a Manager from the HR Team.  One thing that came across very clearly to me was the amount of planning that went on in that office – recruitment, assessment, inductions, performance reviews, training schedules, holiday cover, budgeting, the list went on and on.  I remember thinking how much easier they would find it once we had spent some time together on their NLP Practitioner programme as it would help them to develop a range of skills for objective and effective planning – as well as resolving problems before they became problems.  When we met two months after the programme, I was informed that, by their calculation, they were saving around three hours per week each just by being able to plan more effectively using some of the skills and techniques they had learned.

Relationships

All of the HR professionals that I know spend a large percentage of their time in direct contact with people – internal to the organisation, prospective employees, external service providers etc – and that means building effective relationships that work for both parties.  The Rapport skills that we teach on my NLP Practitioner programmes enable relationships to be kick-started smoothly, giving a firm foundation upon which to build.  This is done through understanding that NON-verbal communication is just as important as the verbal kind and often has a greater impact, particularly when connection is short as in interviews.  One of my past students wrote telling me how she uses her Rapport skills to put interview candidates at ease very quickly, thus enabling her to ask more searching questions and really get “inside” the interviewee.

Assessment and Selection

A key area of HR work these days, and one in which some of my friends are constantly engaged, is that of Assessment and Selection.  Organisations are keen to employ people on a right-fit basis through understanding competencies and personality and, for those already in the family, to have those people in the right role.  One area of NLP that helps tremendously with this is the understanding of Values and Metaprogrammes.

Values – at an individual level, this is about what inspires and drives a person.  When all things are equal, what will make them want to go the extra mile, to work the extra few hours, to commit for more than money?  Once you understand the individual’s values, you can then look at how they fit (or not) with those of the team and the organisation.  I have come to realise that much of the stress experienced by people is caused through values conflicts. Part of the NLP journey involves coming to understand our own Values and how they can interact with others to create lasting relationships – or not.

Metaprogrammes – an area of NLP that has long fascinated me is that of this set of filters in our unconscious mind that work on the way in which we perceive our world and how we make things “fit” our model.  The simplest demonstration of this is the half-full Vs half-empty glass.  Some people see the glass as half full and we are often told that this is “good” because its “positive thinking”.  Others, however, may notice a half-empty glass and we are told this is “bad” and “negative”.  The simple fact is that both versions are correct. If the glass IS half full then it IS half empty.  Neither is good or bad, right or wrong.  It’s simply how the observer notices things.  This is just one of a number of these “filters” that can impact on how we perceive the world, communicate, make decisions, prioritise, give or receive feedback, solve problems and much more.  Participants in my NLP programmes quickly learn to see others with a whole new pair of eyes and to recognise them for what they are – individuals with great strengths that can be utilised very effectively.

Personal Development Planning

All of the above can be brought into play in the matter of creating individual Personal Development Plans.  In seeking to capitalise on their investment in the resource we call “people”, organisations are, more and more, becoming involved in creating Personal Development Plans for employees.  This brings several key benefits:

• Greater involvement of staff
• Morale and motivation is enhanced because people feel valued and noticed
• Organisations benefit from enhanced performance and realisation of potential
• Lower staff turnover means longevity, better performance and, of course, financial saving

How to do this? Develop the people you have.  Look at the areas above and you quickly realise that NLP will not only lead to better performance; it will also bring reduced costs.

Giving and receiving Feedback

I ceased, some time ago, to be surprised by the number of participants on my NLP Practitioner programmes who include Feedback as one of the best skills they developed.  The reason for this is that I have, over the years, witnessed feedback that has ranged from elegant to downright demonic with one instance where I actually witnessed a brawl between two men because one of them had given some “direct” feedback and the other had taken exception – with extreme prejudice.

I teach my students a range of models for giving feedback so that they may choose an appropriate style for the situation.  These may include day-t0-day feedback, dealing with a first-time unuseful behaviour, repeat “offenders” and those who’s behaviour may be better defined as “disruptive”.  I also share ways in which to receive feedback, handling those who give it elegantly and those who’s style is rather less friendly.

There is no doubt that effective and elegant feedback is a major tool in most areas of a business and HR is no exception.

Summary

These are just some of the areas of Human Resources Management that are enhanced by the use of NLP.  There are others and I’d be delighted to hear from readers who have used NLP successfully in business, whatever area.

When you have read this article, please feel free to download  NLP and HR, and also to share it with others.

You may also wish to connect with me through;

Please, also take some time to checkout our Programme Diary and  Affordable NLP pages and to subscribe to my Newsletter and receive a copy of my e-book, “Four Steps to Fantastic”

NLP and Sales

NLP and Leadership

Both are available in downloadable pdf format as well and you’ll find the download links on each of the relevant pages.  You will also find a download link on this page if you wish to download this section.

NLP and Negotiating

Negotiating, like Sales, is a far-reaching function in business.  From the CEO down, just about every person in an organisation finds themselves in a negotiation situation at some time or another, whether it be:

• Mergers and acquisitions at a major corporate level between organisations
• A business owner seeking the best funding deal for his/her business enterprise
• An entrepreneur looking for much-needed resources
• HR negotiating a package with a new employee
• Sales professionals wanting the most profitable deal for the organisation – and their commission
• Buyers doing much the same
• Managers looking to get things done in areas where they don’t have direct authority
• The Logistics Dept. seeking to get products out and delivered as smoothly as possible
• The Finance professionals collecting payment early or, at least, on time
• Pay rise time when everybody becomes a negotiator
• And more

Let’s face it, LIFE is a negotiation!

Little wonder then that my skills and services as a negotiator are often in demand.  In this section of Doing Business with NLP we will be exploring the various areas of negotiating that are so effectively helped and improved through knowledge and use of NLP.  You may also wish to take a look at some of the other resources on my website at www.ralphwatson.com, including:

The Online Bookstore

Choosing an NLP Trainer

The ABC of NLP: A Glossary of NLP Terms

If you are UK based, you will almost certainly be interested in the information on our NLP Training and you’ll find that in our Programme Diary and some very Special News on our “Affordable NLP” programme.

So, let’s explore NLP and Negotiating

Goal Setting

One of the key skills identified in the best Negotiators is that of being able to set effective goals – in other words knowing what they want to achieve – and one of the first things we teach on our NLP programmes at RWP Ltd is how to set, structure and examine Well Formed Outcomes.

By “Well Formed Outcomes” I mean setting a clear goal and examining it from several perspectives, including:

• Is it actually achievable?  You’d be surprised how many are not
• Are you being specific enough in what you actually want to happen?
• What is the timescale for achieving it?
• What are the positive and less-positive implications of achieving – or not achieving – the outcome

The purpose of this is to check and double check that we understand the ramifications of our intended actions.  You will notice a number of common threads across the various sections of our journey into Doing Business with NLP and this is the first – always know what you want.

Planning

One of the key reasons for success – or otherwise – in many negotiations is that of planning.  In my book, “Countermove – a guide to the art of negotiation”, I set out the many areas and stages of planning a negotiation.  NLP can play a vital part in that it will help you to:

• Set out your goal
• Decide on resources required (people and things)
• Make objective decisions about timescales, people, relationships and tactics
• Plan for foreseeable obstacles and how you will deal with them

There are a number of key stages to the planning of a successful negotiation and you’ll find those in my book AND on any NLP Training that I lead.

Relationships

One of the keys to successful negotiation is to build effective relationships based on a mutual understanding and respect.  Negotiation is about people and communication and NLP brings those two vital components together across a number of skill areas:

• Understanding non-verbal communication and how it can improve, or split, relationships quickly and often unintentionally.
• Effective Rapport skills
• Objective perspectives on relationships in order to “rehearse” interaction, objections and scenarios

Thus a well-prepared and confident Negotiator walks into the process ready to handle most, if not all, situations. The interpersonal aspects of negotiation are all covered in any good NLP training and certainly in ALL of the NLP programmes offered by the Ralph Watson Partnership.

The Language of Influence

So many negotiations fall because of a slip of the tongue, something inadvertently said that causes concern, objection or even offence.  NLP brings a host of linguistic skills that are a vital element in successful negotiating.  Participate in any NLP programme led by myself or a member of my team and you will discover:

• How to structure skilful questions to uncover information and sort fact from fiction (Meta Model)
• How to use carefully constructed sentences and language that will influence thought patterns in the mind of the listener (Milton Model)
• How to identify the unconscious assumptions being made by the speaker (Presuppositions in Language) and how to use them in influencing
• How to put all of these together in an ethical manner and create Patterns of Persuasion

You will note that I stress the word ethical here and this is because the key outcome of any top negotiator is to get a deal that works for both parties and not to simply grab all and run.  Remember, Negotiating is about relationships.  NLP teaches much about ecology and ethics.

Personal development

As with past chapters, we come to the subject of self-awareness and self-actualisation.  Alongside all of the great “technical” skills that you will learn on one of my NLP programmes, you will also embark on a journey of self-discovery and awareness that will bring you:

• Greater understanding of your own patterns and behaviour
• Greater choice in how you react emotionally and physically in situations
• Increased confidence in your own ability
• Enhanced creativity

These are all, in themselves, invaluable in a business context and all outstanding contributors to a healthier and more fulfilling life.

So, as you can see, NLP once again brings many highly desirable skills and perspectives to the business world, this time in the negotiating room.

Once you have read this article, you are welcome to download it here: NLP and negotiating

You can also subscribe to my Newsletter and receive a copy of my e-book, “Four Steps to Fantastic – A Personal Planning Workbook” Just send an e-mail and put your name in the subject line.  We’ll do the rest.

And watch our online bookshop for my book!